Candice Landau
Last Updated on April 22, 2024 by Candice Landau
On July 11, Eugene Skin Divers Supply’s next PADI Open Water Scuba course begins and… it’s not leaving me behind! Yup, that’s right, I’m going to learn to scuba dive.
I’m not really sure why it has taken me so long to actually register for this course, especially when I lived in places that would have had more interesting underwater environments (close to Monterey, for example) and because I’ve wanted to do it for so long, but I think it has something to do with getting older. With 30 just around the corner, I’m feeling increasingly anxious.
What on earth have I done with my life?
What about all those things I wanted to do?!
I used to be so adventurous—an intrepid traveler with insatiable curiosity. A crazy horse rider. Heck, I used to try everything: diving, pole vaulting, midnight sledding with friends in Switzerland, anything outdoorsy…
So really, what is holding me back now? I’ve spent a couple of weeks thinking about it, and have the absurdly short and disturbing answer at hand. The only thing holding me back is me—me not prioritizing my dreams, goals and desires. That’s it.
So, to combat this lack of militant dream pursuit, I’ve gone a bit crazy. I’ve turned my hall closet into a collage of dream/goal post-it notes, with everything from learning to scuba dive to learning to sail, self-publish a book of my poetry, and get paid to write some short fantasy stories. As of tonight there are 26 post-it notes and even if I don’t get to a quarter of them this year, it’s nice to have them up in one place.
So far I’ve paid for the PADI training course, got all the reading materials and now need to head back to the dive shop to get some basic equipment—apparently just fins, goggles, wet suit boots and a snorkel—as the rest will be supplied. The other, perhaps unnecessary things that I do want to lay my hands on before the ocean dive in Florence, include a good underwater camera, and this obscenely expensive book on marine life of the Pacific Northwest, though I have it on good authority that Florence waters can be murky…
Beyond buying stuff, the only other thing I have to wrap my head around is the heebie-jeebie feeling I get when I think of the ocean. Growing up in South Africa, I spent a lot of time in the swimming pool and a lot of time under the water. I still remember getting the creeps when I opened my eyes in the pool and looked toward the deep end. I can only imagine what the endless black ocean abyss will feel like, though I’ve been trying to assuage my fears of a looming kraken by looking at pictures of pretty tropical dive sites with crystal clear water and vaguely daft looking fish.
The other thing that I know will help is activating what I call “horse riding mind,” that is, a state of being that is quite empty headed and willing to stop thinking and do stupid, dangerous things. I have my South African horse riding instructor, Willie, to thank for this.
As a kid, Willie would have me and my pony Barnaby jump 1.10m jumps with no stirrups, he’d have me drop my reigns in a lesson, he’d yell at me to get back on when I fell off, he’d boost my pony’s feed to make him speedy at horse shows. To survive, I literally had to quit thinking. I think the same thing is going to apply for that dark underwater world. It won’t get rid of those initial spidery feelings, but it will block them out.
Everything said and done…I’m still really excited! Bring it on.
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